How it all began - part 1
When I was little I dreamed of talking to the animals, I dreamed of being an Indian myself moving supplely and agile through the forest. I imagined myself maintaining friendship with different animals and with that in mind I felt happy, and completely connected.
When asked what I wanted to be when I would be an adult, I answered I wanted to have a farm. This came closest to what I dreamed of in a conventional sense. In that way I dared to express myself without having being afraid to appear kind of strange.
Early I had learned that my desire to talk to the animals and the elements and to communicate to them as my fellow was considered stupid and childish. Still, I never doubted the possibilities as such, but I learned to transform them into socially acceptable interests such as the study of anthropology, ethnology, and prehistory and early history. Still I realized that my true desires would not be satisfied that way.
When I lived in the U.S. in 1990, I started to receive teaching from Sun Bear, Moon Deer and Beth from the Bear Tribe. For the first time in my life I found myself in an environment in which it was normal and natural to communicate with the elements and to perceive nature as sacred and alive. I was deeply touched and felt like coming home. Here I learned a lot about the earth, the water, the air and the fire.
Each element has certain characteristics and preferences and communicates in its own special way. The minerals, plants, animals, they are our brothers and sisters. We all live together on our Mother Earth, who feeds us and looks after us. What I came to know and learned with the Indians about life topped what I ever had imagined. For the first time I experienced a real love and reverence for the feminine in the form of Mother Earth and grandmother moon. The people from whom I learned appeared to be reliable. They were grounded natural authorities and not "detached" or "strange" like many persons I had came to know in the context of spirituality. From them I learned a lot about the feminine , the female cycle and female sexuality. For me, a new world opened and it felt so right and in tune like nothing I had encountered previously.
At this stage I already had a son and was I was pregnant again. All the knowledge and personal experience I received deeply within myself. It felt round and harmonious. In the summer of 1990 my daughter Magdalena was born. She had been present in my belly since the beginning of my apprenticeship with the Indians. Her birth was a gift in the context of connectedness. She was born into the world at home in Massachusetts in an oversized bathtub. It was a very natural birth. At that time we lived pretty much in the wilderness, 13 miles to the next village, and in this environment Magdalena spend her first months of life.
We returned to Germany and many years passed. The knowledge of the Indians germinated inside of me and 9 years later I integrated this knowledge into our Seminare in Berlin. I made another inspiring experience in the summer of 2000 on a women's conference in Zegg (Zentrum für experimentelle Gesellschaftsgestaltung in Belzig near Berlin). Suddenly similar knowledge approached me from a different side. Slowly it became quite clear to me that the cultural context for connectedness and abundance, which I had come to know with the Indians, had also been common here in Europe and around the world for a very long period of time. It is the time of the mother cultures starting as early as 40.000 years ago and lasting until around 5000 b.C.
At the same time my own mother was writing a book about the history of marriage. She noted with astonishment that marriage originally had been a political instrument to weaken the power of female kinship structure. With the invention of marriage the wife was associated with a man and introduced into the patriarchal family system based on domination. The values of the Indians, which had influenced me so much were now increasingly showing up in our own early history. Slowly I began to understand that what I had experienced with the Indians belonged to a balanced lifestyle that originally had existed everywhere in the world at early time of our history. Parts of the North American Indian traditions are true treasures, which are already lost almost everywhere in the world. Sun Bear's words: "We (the Indians) are the guardians of the earth, the time to share our knowledge with the white man has come," had in retrospect a whole new meaning for me.
It became increasingly clear for me that in our life the female element had been twisted and distorted to such an extent that it shows itself incomplete and poor - both in women as well as in men, as well as in the social and economic structures. A lot of suffering occurs from that. Since most of us do not even know what has been lost, it is a big challenge to raise awareness for that matter.
In general, it's about awakening the female principle of abundance and connectedness. This comprises the knowledge that everything is connected to everything else (something that the system-theoretical approach is now slowly re-integrated into our consciousness). Of course there is also great resistance, because this viev has obviously enormous implications for our actions on all levels.
Unconnected action is in our culture the "normal, allowed" action. For the Indians it was customary to deliberate about whether a decision was reasonable for the next seven generations to come. This is certainly the opposite extreme. But today wherever we look it can be observed that the maximum profit almost anywhere in the world will be sought after, without consideration and willingness to compromise in terms of the environment around, the people, the animals, the plants and the earth.
I think we need new innovative concepts for our way of life and work. We need people who believe in a different way of thinking, feeling and acting. Since I work a lot with enlarging patterns of thinking, feeling and behaving, I know that it is easier and faster to follow a positive role model that gives orientation for something, than to try to get away from something, you do not want anymore. Most people are in the "getting away from something " when they want to change something. Learning from a model where to go is much faster. Therefore, we need models that give an example on how it could be. This does not mean that people should do just the same, but it gives inspiration and ideas for your own ability to create new solutions. With Living Gaia we want to create such a model.
How it all began - part 2
I, Magdalena, as Alexandra's daughter, can remember when I was eleven years old having expressed the idea of writing books and holding seminars with my mother when I was a child. At that time, the parent-child relationship was particularly close to my heart. I was astonished by the problems between my friends and their parents and because I experienced the mother-daughter relationship very differently, I wanted to show them what is possible. Looking back, I can say that the parent-child relationship was only one aspect of the overall theme of attachment. In the course of time, this image of my future has hardly changed. It has expanded much more to this all-encompassing project.
I spent four years abroad: two years in England at a boarding school, half a year in Brazil, in the healing biotope Tamera in Portugal, and one year at the University of Scotland. I have gained enough experience to know for sure that I want to dedicate my life to my vision of connectedness.
The concrete vision was born in the summer of 2009, when Mama and I were together in Tamera. I took a four month course during which I got to know life there well. The closeness to nature and the interpersonal warmth of the community, the authentic handling of all feelings and the openness to go new ways touched me deeply. And it became clear to me that I would not want to do without it for the rest of my life. Mama and I lay in bed together one evening and suddenly I said more clearly than ever that I had come to Mama to support her. I came to her so that together we could realize the vision of the female principle of abundance and connectedness, to make men and women more conscious, to contribute to this empowerment in the world and to live it ourselves.
Magdalena had often said that she wanted to live her life with me and to work and produce together with me. I, as her mother, was always very careful with it and did not take it so seriously. I thought she had to find her own way and that her ideas would certainly change. That evening in Tamera I let her very conscious and clear expression really touch my heart for the first time and "heard" her. And suddenly everything made sense. I had already received Magdalena like this. She had found the only possible gap. She was very present from the first moment of her life and from then on always on "my turn". In Tamera I understood the meaning of this again on a completely different level. From this moment on we began to vision together and to orient our life more and more towards this common intention.
On the following day, my birthday, we did a ceremony for two in the stone circle of Tamera. On the next full moon Starhawk performed a Spiraldance ritual with all present, during which we laid the first foundation stone for our future healing biotope. At that time we planned to settle the whole thing in the vicinity of Berlin.
How it all began - part 3
Only when Mama went to Brazil together with Dada in March 2010 the idea did come to Brazil. This decision spurred on all events enormously and I immediately realized how obvious it was.
In Brazil, the abundance and presence of nature can be experienced directly. The warm climate alone reduces the perceived alienation of people from nature. In Brazil there is no tradition like in Europe to cultivate suffering and to feel themselves through it. Instead, people celebrate without inhibitions the joy of life in music and dance. The body is much more alive and did not experience a comparable devaluation by the primacy of the spirit.
Since Dada is Brazilian and we in the family have been enjoying Brazilian life feeling and sensual expressiveness for 15 years, this enormous contribution to our personal cognition process during this visit to Brazil became particularly clear to me. It made all the more sense to let Living Gaia come into being in Brazil, where Gaia's expression in nature is so particularly friendly and sensually soothing.
In the summer of 2010 Mama and I set out to visit different regions of Brazil and to find land. We travelled through the north-west and understood many important things: for example, that we wanted to be near a national park and in the interior of the country. We kept saying to ourselves: The country will find us and everything will happen faster than we imagine, because the great mother is moving. After this trip, I got a place to study medicine in Berlin and for the first time in four years I lived firmly at home again. We both noticed immediately what a difference it makes when we are together and that it does us very good and inspires us to continue.
When we came back from Brazil I planned to go there again in March 2011 together with Dada. I wanted to have a closer look at Goias, the region around the capital Brasilia. But it was a little different. The Coaching Spirale was very demanding for me and the "Laden Projekt" of the Coachimg Spirale, which had probably germinated in silence for four years, got new life through Matthaeus, my son and Magdalena's brother. This idea was now really mature and quickly everyone in the Coaching Spirale became enthusiastic about implementing it. So I started to take care of it more and more.
At the end of March we planned to take only a few days off. A friend from ZEGG, with whom I had contact because of something else, told me shortly before Christmas that she would go to Goias for six weeks. Then I told her that this was exactly the area where I wanted to look for the next country.
Six weeks later I received an email from her. The subject was: land in Brazil. When I saw this in the inbox, I immediately had a very strong feeling. Full of expectation I opened the email and found many photos, a description and two maps of Google Maps. "I have to see that", was my first thought. So I went there immediately in March 2011 and then everything went very fast. So the land found us and we found the land Living Gaia.